Where Do We Go From Here?
by Pedellea
Summary: The thoughts of various characters after a tragedy occurs. Character death.
1. Amy

**TITLE**: Where Do We Go From Here? (1/3)   
**AUTHOR**: Pedellea   
**E-MAIL**: pedellea@hotmail.com   
**DATE**: February 20, 2003   
**RATING**: G   
**SUMMARY**: The thoughts of various characters after a tragedy occurs. Character death.   
**SPOILERS**: none   
**DISCLAIMER**: Everwood belongs to Greg Berlanti, Mickey Liddell, Everwood Utah, Inc. and Warner Bros. Television.   
**AUTHOR'S NOTES**: Here is my first Everwood fanfic. Since I love exploring the minds of my favourite TV characters, why not explore the minds of Everwood characters? Hope you'll enjoy, and don't forget to send me some feedback. Thanks! 

* * *

**WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?   
By Pedellea**

~Amy~ 

He's gone. 

Colin's gone, and I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. 

I shouldn't have been so optimistic. I knew he didn't remember much of our relationship together, but I forced our past on him anyway. I hoped, really hoped, that he would remember everything we used to do. He said he liked me, but it just wasn't the same as it used to be. Things seemed to be going smoother lately though, and I really thought that it would all work out. 

But now, with one seizure, he's gone forever. 

I watched him, held him, as he was dying. The stabbing pain of losing him all over again hit me hard, only this time, I'm never going to get him back. I can't help but think that all those months of waiting, months of reading him books, playing music for him, just being with him in Denver, amounted to nothing. Nothing but the realization that he didn't even remember me. 

How could I have deluded myself into thinking that things would get better? How could I have held on to the hope that I could get him, the Colin that I knew, back? Maybe I could've gotten him back. 

But now he's dead. 

Everyone's just giving me pitiful looks now, and if they had the courage, they'd say one or two words of comfort. None of it helps though. My boyfriend is gone, and my heart has been ripped in two. 

There's no one to turn to. Sure, my parents are hovering over me, and Bright's always taking the time to sit by my bed as I lay there, emotionless. But none of them would dare to bring up Colin's death for fear that I would just crumble to piece or something. Maybe I would. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to plug up that empty whole in my heart. 

I thought that Ephram would come by and talk, but it seems that he's preoccupied with Laynie. I don't blame him. After all, I told him to ask her out, and I guess it's only fair that she's spending his time comforting a sister who's lost her brother all over again. But how I wish that he would come to me and comfort me instead. How I wish I never forced him to be with Laynie. If they weren't together, then maybe we could... 

Oh god, how can I be so selfish? Laynie just lost her brother, and Ephram deserves better than to hang around the girl he used to love but who pushed him away because she had a boyfriend that is now dead. As much as I want him here beside me, Ephram's gone from me too. 

Colin's dead, Ephram's gone, and I'm all alone. 

What am I supposed to do now? 

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Next chapter: Ephram   
Feedback is much appreciated! Write a review, or e-mail me at pedellea@hotmail.com. 


	2. Ephram

**TITLE**: Where Do We Go From Here? (2/3)   
**AUTHOR**: Pedellea   
**E-MAIL**: pedellea@hotmail.com   
**DATE**: February 20, 2003   
**RATING**: G   
**SUMMARY**: The thoughts of various characters after a tragedy occurs. Character death.   
**SPOILERS**: none   
**DISCLAIMER**: Everwood belongs to Greg Berlanti, Mickey Liddell, Everwood Utah, Inc. and Warner Bros. Television.   
**AUTHOR'S NOTES**: Here is my first Everwood fanfic. Since I love exploring the minds of my favourite TV characters, why not explore the minds of Everwood characters? Hope you'll enjoy, and don't forget to send me some feedback. Thanks! 

* * *

**WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?   
By Pedellea**

~Ephram~ 

I should have never moved to Everwood. 

If I had stayed in New York, I would have never met Amy. If I hadn't met Amy, then I wouldn't have raised her hopes about curing Colin. Then I wouldn't have pressed my dad about doing the surgery, and the surgery wouldn't have been done, and Colin wouldn't have woken up, and Laynie wouldn't have come back from boarding school... 

Who am I kidding? All these things happened, and now Colin's dead. It hurt to see him die, but unlike the others, I didn't know him until he woke up from his coma. So this whole losing Colin business is new to me, although I've seen the hurt and the pain in Laynie. 

And Amy. 

Why didn't I visit her? She was my first friend since moving to Everwood, and now her boyfriend was dead. Sure, she pushed me away and now I'm with her dead boyfriend's sister, but she knows as well as I that I still like her. So why is that I've been avoiding her since his death? 

It's because I'm with Laynie. Laynie's taking it hard, and I sympathize. I don't know what it's like to lose a sibling, exactly. But I know how it is like to lose a mother. It hurts, and the dread then realization that she's gone hits me anew each morning. I don't even want to imagine what it would be like to lose Delia. Nothing like death to force yourself to re-examine what you treasure the most. 

I guess I'm sticking around Laynie because I just feel so sorry for her. The thing is that her parents are just going about arranging the funeral, and ignoring her in the process. She's all alone while going through the death of her brother, so it only seems suiting that I should be with her. She hasn't talked too much, and she hasn't cried very much either. She also hasn't asked me to leave, and through this tragedy, I guess this is the best that I can do for her. Colin would probably have wanted that. I have a feeling she would break into a million piece if I left, and I would never want to see that happen. 

But what about Amy? Truth is, I can't stop thinking about her, even as I'm sitting here, staring at the TV with Laynie. I've seen her break down because of Colin, and it's heartbreaking to know that she's going through that all over again, but only ten times worse. But, for some reason, I can't bring myself to visit her either. I can't seem to even call her. I don't know if it's guilt for having raised her hopes about Colin, or guilt of leaving Laynie all alone. But if I was her true friend, wouldn't I do the best to comfort her as well, no matter what my attachments are? 

God, this is so complex. Who knew life could get even more complicated in a small town where nothing seemed to happen? 

I wish I never moved to Everwood. 

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Next chapter: Laynie   
Feedback, feedback, feedback... please? Write a review, or e-mail me at pedellea@hotmail.com. 


	3. Laynie

**TITLE**: Where Do We Go From Here? (3/3)   
**AUTHOR**: Pedellea   
**E-MAIL**: pedellea@hotmail.com   
**DATE**: February 20, 2003   
**RATING**: G   
**SUMMARY**: The thoughts of various characters after a tragedy occurs. Character death.   
**SPOILERS**: none   
**DISCLAIMER**: Everwood belongs to Greg Berlanti, Mickey Liddell, Everwood Utah, Inc. and Warner Bros. Television.   
**AUTHOR'S NOTES**: Here is my first Everwood fanfic. Since I love exploring the minds of my favourite TV characters, why not explore the minds of Everwood characters? Hope you'll enjoy, and don't forget to send me some feedback. Thanks! 

* * *

**WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?   
By Pedellea**

~Laynie~ 

My brother's gone. I can't believe he's actually gone. 

I thought I had lost him forever, but when he woke up from that coma, I thought I had him back again. Although things were different since the accident, he remembered me, and that was all I needed. 

But even that small strip of happiness that I had has been taken away. Why is life so unfair to me? 

Ephram and I are staring at the TV now. There's really nothing else I can do. My parents are busy with arrangements, and with them ignoring me even though Colin is gone, I'm left here all alone. 

All alone except for Ephram. 

He's been there for me through it all. I have no idea why he comes by each morning and just sits there with me, whether it's staring at the ceiling from my bed, or watching infomercials and soaps on the TV. It's all pointless, and sometimes I wished he would just leave and return to his normal life away from my pathetic self. But a bigger part of me screams for him to stay at the end of each night, to just be with me as I sort this whole thing out in my head. When he leaves, I wonder if he will come back the next day. And for some reason, he always does. 

I don't know if he knows it, but Ephram's presence has been my strength. On the first few days, he tried to make conversation with me, but I just gave him the curt responses. He took the point, and we haven't really said anything meaningful since that time. There's nothing to say, really. But, if he left me, I don't think I'd know what to do with myself. 

He looks over at me from time to time, always with that worried look that seems to be frozen on his face. He doesn't deserve this, spending all this useless time being with an emotionally fragile and unresponsive girl. I don't think I have the strength to tell him though. Holding myself together is tough enough. 

Colin's gone now, and the only thing that I have left is Ephram. 

I hope he will never leave me. 

**THE END**

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This show is awesome! It was fun writing this piece, trying to figure out how everyone would react to Colin's death. Not that I want it to happen, because Colin's a good character, and his circumstances keeps the show interesting. 

Feedback would be much appreciated, as usual. Please use the review option, or send me an e-mail at pedellea@hotmail.com. Thanks! 


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